


sugar free

by chocotea



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Cake, Crying, Drinking, M/M, Weddings, and how to crash them, basically crack, drunk on champagne, in a totally legal way, this is all very weird, wonwoo can't see
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-09
Updated: 2018-01-09
Packaged: 2019-03-02 19:15:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13324707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chocotea/pseuds/chocotea
Summary: Wonwoo likes to crash weddings for the cakes; Junhui likes the groom.





	sugar free

Wonwoo is unsure how it all happened. One second he was happily getting a slice of all the cakes in his vicinity, the next he was sitting on the floor, listening to some guy whine as they both eat said cakes.  
He blames the (excellent) champagne.  
"I just… I thought we really had something going on, you know?" the guy sobs, taking a sip out of his own cup. 

Wonwoo nods automatically, although he has no clues, really. He doesn't even know the first thing about the guy. Even his face is a damn blur as he left his glasses in his jacket, on some chair close by, earlier on. It seems to do it for the guy, though, as he just keeps on babbling on.

"I know how stupid this sounds, like, the guy is marrying someone else, of course there was nothing special! I'm stupid aren't I?"  
Wonwoo is ready to nod before realising what a big mistake it would have been. Offending a drunk guy was never good. "Have you tasted the berries one?" he asks instead, sliding over his own half-eaten slice.  
The guy takes it with a long sigh, spork already digging in the sweet cake. He takes an impressive mouthful. 

"Fuck, it's great," he mumbles, to which Wonwoo agrees wholeheartedly, taking some for himself directly from the same plate. "He used to get me snacks all the time, you know?" he suddenly continues, taking him by surprise. Once again, he has no clues, but just nods along, chewing down on his cake.. "He was so kind to me! I don't understand," the guy sniffs loudly.

Wonwoo hums, taking a swing out of the bottle of champagne he 'borrowed' earlier on. Nobody was paying any attention anyway, all too taken by the fantastic newly-wed couple and the DJ's old-but-gold picks. It's usually the case at weddings, thankfully for him. He tried to crash a child birthday's party, once, and it didn't go so well.  
The sniffing guy takes the bottle from his hands before he gets the chance to put him down, then proceeds to chug down a good part of it under Wonwoo's admiring - and malfunctioning - eyes. Whoever this guy is, he is good at this crashing weddings thing; Although, to be fair, Wonwoo is fairly certain he is actually an invited guest, quite unlike himself. 

"I loved him," the poor lad sobs out the second he's swallowed enough of the golden liquid to make a grandma faint. Wonwoo nods dramatically, gently taking the berry cakes from his lap, but only to slide a slice of the tiramisu flavoured one, ever so kindly.

"Love is overrated, unlike this beautiful cake. Have a taste, and tell me this doesn't taste sweeter than any of that love crap," Wonwoo tells him with assurance, because he knows it's true. 

The guy sporks out another impressive amount of cake that somehow miraculously fits all at once in his mouth. Wonwoo looks at him, expectant, although he really couldn't tell whether he is grimacing or smiling brightly, thank to his eyesight. He knows this creamy delightfulness can't make anyone disgusted, no matter the amount. He's tasted a lot of wedding cakes, but god, this wedding was serving pure ambrosia. The guy seems to take his time with the tasting, so Wonwoo takes some for himself, only to agree that it would be criminal to not savour the cake. 

Instead of being comforted, though, the boy only starts sobbing harder. 

"Even his wedding cake is perfect!" he wails, his head hitting the wall behind him as he takes another spork of cake. Wonwoo awkwardly reaches a hand out to pet his hair, completely at lost with what he is supposed to do in this kind of situation. He's done countless weddings and never interacted with any human being there for more than a minute, so having one of the guests cry out in his ears as he sneaks as much cake in his stomach as he can, is definitely disconcerting. 

"It's, uh… It's not that great?" he tries, but the guy either doesn't buy it or doesn't hear it, sobbing harder around his cake. It's kind of disgusting, in all honesty, but the guy is heartbroken, so whatever. Wonwoo got his heart broken once when his father dropped his beautiful red fruits birthday cake on the floor when he was 6 years old, and he cried so hard he almost peed himself, so in comparison, the guy was doing pretty good. 

He takes a spork of the lime cake, to feel braver. 

"Look, uh… dude. That guy wasn't shit. Guys aren't shit in general. Girls aren't either. No one is shit. You know what's the shit? Cakes. Also, yourself, I guess," he shrugs, hand resting on the shaking shoulder of his cake-mate. The guy seems to be calming down, if the soft sniffing sound replacing the loud sobbing is anything to go by. "Anyway, what I meant to say is, fuck him, I guess. But don't… don't actually fuck him, you know. He is married now." If he was talking about the groom all this time, that is. 

His encouraging message is followed by a silence and more sniffing, which makes him slightly antsy for a while. Then, the guy's shoulder goes up, hardens. Nice shoulder, by the way. One last big sniff. "You're right. Fuck him. Fuck this," he confidently says, gesturing at everything around them, and Wonwoo is a little offended that the cake is involved. "He isn't shit. I'm the shit." Wonwoo nods, gravely. Good attitude. 

"I'm going to fuck this wedding up." 

Oh no. Not that. Not what he meant. His first instinct is to jump on the guy before he gets any idea to stand up and yell at everyone. Cake smashes pretty much everywhere around them as he jumps on the guy's lap unceremoniously, hands steady on his - big - shoulders. 

"We are NOT gonna fuck this wedding up," he immediately informs the guy who looks up at him with big eyes. Wonwoo squints a little, leaning closer to take a proper look at him, but most likely ending up making it all look very much more intimate than it is.

"We- we are not?" the boy asks back, voice small and a little stunned, like a child getting scolded for something he didn't even do. Wonwoo shakes his head. 

"We are not. We are going to go home and go to bed," he tells him patiently, and the guy merely nods obediently. Man, this champagne. 

"Okay," he says gently, a little dejected. "What about the cake?"

Wonwoo sends a long, teary look at the cake smashed on the floor. He considers getting more, but a strange sense of responsibility overcomes him and he decides that taking the boy home is definitely more important than the cake, because if he causes a scene, there are chances people will spot Wonwoo and Wonwoo does NOT want to be spotted by certain people. Crashing weddings isn't as easy as you'd think, even if it's just to eat the cake. 

"The cake will be just fine without us," he sighs sadly and longingly. 

"Okay," the guy says again, "let's go then," he continues although he doesn't make any move to get up. Wonwoo realises belatedly that it probably has to do with the fact that he is still sitting on his lap, on his very nice thighs, hands still resting on his very nice shoulders. Guy must be doing other things with his body other than cry and eat cake. 

As heartbreaking as it is, he stands up, hovering over the guy with a hand stretched out for him to take. It takes all of his strength and willpower to not quill over when the guy actually takes him up on his offer. Now that they're standing, Wonwoo notices they're around the same height, although there is definitely a difference in their built, but, well, Wonwoo is one of those skinny bitches, so. They go and get the guy's stuff as quietly and quickly as possible, Wonwoo doing his best to hide behind him as he retrieves his jacket, then retrieve Wonwoo's. Nobody seems to be paying any attention, thank god, too busy watching a group of guys play another weird wedding game that includes a lot of swearing and yelling. 

Wonwoo quickly leads them out of the reception hall. 

"So, where do you live?" he asks then, not trusting the other drunk guy to get home by himself. The guy miraculously takes out what seems to be a hotel room key card from his jacket's pocket. 

"Here," he blankly says. "For tonight, at least."

Well, that sure made things easier. Wonwoo hides behind him as they go through the reception bit - couldn't risk that- and the guy is nice enough not to make a fuzz as they get to the elevator. From then on, it's a piece of cake, and Wonwoo is about to leave him in front of his door to go back to his own, lonely home, when the guy says: 

"Want some snacks and a drink?" 

And Wonwoo is bad at refusing free food and free booze, really bad. 

When he wakes up with a headache and a burning stomach, he loathes this weakness of his. The sun is burning right through his eyelids and his body feels warm and aches all over. He tries to ignore all of this for a while, and he is pretty successful as well, but that is until he feels something move beside him. 

His eyes fly open so quickly he is blind for a few seconds, and even when the luminosity settles, he can't properly see who is laying beside him in a big white bed - because it is most definitely a who, as surprising as it sounds, even to himself. Memories of the wedding crashing come back slowly to his tired brain as he tries to get a good look at the guy.  
Right. Glasses. Jacket. 

He almost falls flat on his face getting out of bed, and a second time when he walks on what seem to be empty bottles. The noises and squealing seem to make the guy stirr in bed, but not wake up. He finds his jacket thrown over an armchair and quickly pats down for his glasses. He rarely wears them for wedding crashing, not any more at least, having been seen quite a lot with them on. Lenses are usually easier, but he lost one yesterday before the wedding and decided he could do without. Not smart when you're basically fucking blind.

When he finally puts them on, his brain screams in relief as everything becomes clear. Good god, this feels great. He looks out at the window first, greeting the dashing sun, then looks down at the bed, where laid the most good looking guy Wonwoo's ever seen in his damn life. 

Holy fuck. Holy hell. Holy whatever the hell this was. 

From the glorious torso to the tip of his nose, the guy looked like he walked out of a manga, and now Wonwoo really hopes the aching in his body is tell tale of something more than drinking on the floor. He looks down at himself and is disappointed to find out he is still wearing his shirt from last night, as well as underwear. Don't be so disappointed, he wills himself as the guy shifts in bed, at least the cake was great. 

Glorious beauty opens his eyes somewhere along the third minute of creepy staring from the armchair. The fucker seems confused for a mere minute before he sits up and directly meets his eyes. Another minute of confusion. Recognition.

"Oh. Hey, cake guy," he very casually says, as if he woke up to strangers every other days - which, considering last night, couldn't be true-, ruffling his dark hair with his hand, making his muscles shift in a very distracting way as he does so. Wonwoo loves cakes, yeah, but he also loves men, that needs to be said.

"I'm, uh, I'm Wonwoo." 

Sniffing drunk guy stares at him for another handful of seconds before a smile spreads on his beautiful god-blessed face. "And I'm Junhui, if you didn't already know." 

Wonwoo doesn't remember whether he should know or not, so he just smiles awkwardly. "Hi." 

Junhui laughs. "God, don't be so stiff with me, I thought we were past this the second I started crying uglily about my crush."

Wonwoo grins, somewhat. Stiffly. "Sorry, I tend to be more of a social butterfly when I drink."

Junhui hums, stretching himself and making Wonwoo wish he was wearing pants. Bad idea to stay half-naked, very bad. 

"And I tend to be a mess, really sorry about that. I probably ruined your night?" he asks, smile crooked in a way that's probably meant to be apologetic but really only made Wonwoo hotter in the cheeks. 

In all honesty, Junhui did, but is he about to tell the hottest guy in the galaxy that? 

"Yeah, you kinda did. Those cakes were good." 

Yeah, he totally was. 

Junhui doesn't seem at all offended, nor really sorry, in the contrary, he laughs, a pretty sound that rings a bell in his brain, a vague echo of last night once the hotel room's door was closed. The way his adam's apple moves along is kind of really fascinating, too.

"They really were, I'm so sorry about that. What time is it? Maybe I could see if there is some left," he says, looking around for something, most likely his phone. Wonwoo reaches for his own in the pocket of his jacket, quickly. 

"3:32 pm," he reads, making the other guy grimace along. 

"We did stay up really late," he answers with a soft smile, still fumbling around to find his phone. He seems to give up, eventually, and sadly so. He realises he should stop staring somewhere around the lines of now, but he was never very polite.

"You… You remember everything? From last night?" Wonwoo asks, slightly perplexed. Junhui nods. 

"I never forget anything even when I get piss-drunk."  
"That sounds very… useful."

Junhui grimaces. "And very embarrassing, too. I really hope you don't remember the story about my math teacher from 9th grade."

"Very sadly so. I have no recollection of anything after we came here. I'm bad at drinking," Wonwoo sighs out, crossing his arms over his chest. Junhui grins widely at him. 

"That's great. I was worried your first impression of me could get any worse, to be honest. You're pretty cool." 

Nobody's ever called Wonwoo 'pretty cool' before, so the compliment goes straight to his tiny cake heart and he wishes he could preserve that first impression. However, Wonwoo is not cool at all and will surely prove that in the next few minutes. 

"Could it get worse than that guy crying at a wedding because he was in love with the groom?" he asks, innocently enough, only to get Junhui throwing a pillow at him. 

"God, shut up, I'm embarrassed enough!"

"If that's any consolation, you were probably way better looking than the bride, so I don't get why he'd choose her," he shrugs with a grin, making Junhui's ears go a very nice shade of red. 

"Well, to be fair, I'm pretty sure Junhyung hyung is straight, so there was that." 

Wonwoo snorts. "That does put a damper to your relationship, for sure." 

Junhui rolls his eyes at him, cheeks red. "Shut up, it's not like you can just know someone is straight. Sometimes they… bend…" he continues, sounding less and less sure about his explanation as he goes.

"They bend. Incredible," he playfully jabs at him. The boy gives him the finger. 

"Let me be," he whines, falling on his back only to hide in his pillow. 

"Can't, you're cute when you're embarrassed," Wonwoo says without thinking much about it - which is probably why it's so smooth. He can almost hear him blush, now. Very cute. 

"And I thought you were only attracted to cake," comes the mumbled answer, making Wonwoo huff a laugh. 

"Cake and handsome crying strangers at wedding halls, to be precise."

Junhui gives him a look from where he is. "Weird guy you are." 

"And it's only the tip of the iceberg, buddy," he adds, trying his best to sound mysterious only to have Junhui laugh at him. He sits back up, this time hugging his pillow close to his chest. 

"Speaking of, how do you know Junhyung? Or is it Jaehee?" 

Wonwoo goes blank. Well, the question had to be answered one day or another, he guesses. 

"I don't know either of them."

Junhui blinks. "You don't. Then, how…"

"Well, I kind of, like, crash weddings to eat the cakes? I'm like, the Phantom of the wedding halls."

Junhui blinks again. A few times. Seems to think it over, and over. It's silent. Wonwoo is sweating more than he'd like to admit it. Now is the moment he gets kicked out without his pants. Maybe he should put them back on. Where are they? 

"Oh. That sounds cool," comes the very unexpected answer from the dumbfounded boy. "Original hobby, at the very least, I'd say." 

Wonwoo almost chokes on his saliva. "You… You think that's cool? That I go to wedding halls to eat the cakes?"

Junhui shrugs. "I've heard more harmful hobbies." 

Bless this guy and his glorious handsome face and glorious toned body. He wants to die in his glorious arms eating cake. 

"Wait, isn't it, kind of, not legal, though?" Junhui suddenly seems to realise, more doubtful than judgemental. 

Wonwoo gulps down his saliva harshly. "Uh, well, my middle name is Danger, so." 

"Oh, is it really?" the boy asks, innocence overflowing from his gentle voice. Well, fuck. 

"No, it's not, Junhui, it's… it's an expression," he tries to gently explain.

Junhui laughs. Awkwardly. "I totally knew that." 

He totally didn't, but Wonwoo isn't about to fight the kind-hearted soul, not on such a good day. 

"Did you ever get caught?" he asks then, genuinely interested. Wonwoo's heart swells. 

"A few times, but I've become great at this." 

Junhui nods, as if he had said something particularly smart and noteworthy. He continues his little interrogation. "How long have you done that for?" 

Wonwoo lets out a long breathe. "On and off ever since I was, like, 13 or something? And I'm 23 now."

The boy let out a surprised gasp that really shouldn't make him proud like it does. Stealing cake at weddings isn't admirable, at all. "Yeah, it started when I was hanging around with friends and they were like, hey there is a wedding, and I thought, wedding means cake, right? (Junhui nods, like totally getting his 13 years old self.) So I kind of followed the guests with a friend and we got in really easily. Once turned into twice and… well, here we are." 

Junhui is looking at him like he's been holding his breath the whole time, and he probably kind of did, and Wonwoo is thankful his lame ass stories seem to be at least interesting one (1) man ever. Take that, Kwon Soonyoung. 

"That's… Quite something. Is it really that easy?" 

Wonwoo nods eagerly. "The most difficult part is the staff, most of the time, but people at wedding? They have no clues who is who most of the time, and there are always those distant friends, you know? Nobody asks a thing."

It's quiet for another moment, Junhui's eyebrows furrowed as he apparently thinks the whole thing through. Then, he smiles like a sunflower seeing the sun for the first time.

"That's actually genius? Like, I don't even know half of the people there when I go at weddings, so of course nobody does." 

"Yeah, and the newly weds have other things to think about! The key to success is to find those fancy, big weddings where nobody will miss a few slices of cakes."

Junhui nods actively at that. "Great thinking! Fuck, that sounds amazing. Can I come with you some time?"

Now, now that's some big words. Wonwoo is so stunned he feels sick. 

"You… You want to… You want to, like, crash weddings, with me?" he asks, stumbling over each and every one of his words, because, damn, that's huge. Nobody wants to crash wedding with him, not ever since he was 16 or something. And definitely not someone as attractive as Junhui. 

Who seems confused. "Well… Yeah? That sounds fun? But, I mean, we can definitely go on a date before that. If you'd like. Of course," he finishes, face red from the tips of his ears to the tip of his nose.

"Is that even a question? Are you tricking me? Is there a camera around?" He looks around as he says so, expecting one glaring down at him, but he doesn't find any. Junhui laughs, looking quite stunned himself. 

"I'm not tricking you. If anything, you'd be tricking me. I mean, come on, I cried all over you for a whole night."

"And you can cry all over me for as many nights as you want, for all that's sacred and holy," Wonwoo answers quickly, still not believing anything of what's happening. "I'll definitely take you up on that date, god." 

Junhui smiles widely at him, and the sun does this thing where it makes him look like some kind of greek god and Wonwoo kind of wants to take a sneaky picture just so he can stare at it for days on end.

"Great, now that it's settled, do you still want that cake? I'm sure there are some leftovers, even at nearly 4pm."

Wonwoo grins back at him, mischievous. 

"You sure know how to talk to men."

Junhui winks at him, actually full on winks, before adding cheekily: 

"Only those attracted to cakes and handsome crying strangers at wedding halls."

**Author's Note:**

> THIS WAS SO WILD I CANT DEAL.  
> i wrote that yesterday in a trance??? the idea came and I just grabbed it very firmly and did this. F u writer block.
> 
> God, I hope this wasn't too much of a mess??? but at the same time, it has to be a mess. That shit is weird. I still hope you guys enjoyed it !!
> 
> Special thanks to Kat for... egging me on... the Phantom of Writing, that's her....
> 
> I don't have much to say, this happened so fast. Some day I may write a spin off or a sequel. Maybe. 
> 
> ANYWAY. twitter is flower_mp3, I just whine and yell, thanks.


End file.
